gone fishing

I haven't been writing that much of late, and though I have plenty of old pieces that I could be posting, I feel that I need to be a bit more reserved with what I publish here. not because I don't want to share my work, but because I am becoming more interested in being a little more than self-published. a lot of the literary contests, magazines, anthologies, etc., will not consider previously published work, and a good amount consider posting to one's blog as publishing... I mean, that makes a lot of sense, I think; hell, to make this post, I will have to click my mouse over the graphic of a rectangle with the word "publish" embedded in it.

I do want to keep up with this blog, though. over the past year or so, I have accumulated several different ones, and this one means a bit to me, if only because it sparingly represents my art. I will be updating with a few more visuals if my lousy computer (shhhh, baby, don't listen to what mama is saying, she loves you, don't crap out....) permits me. I will be promoting my performances a bit more here, and critiquing them; I recently did one that I don't believe I ever promoted here, which is a shame because I came off the stage feeling as if I nailed it; a new thing for me to feel whilst performing my own work.

I have published a zine, of which I should be making a second, revised edition and actually peddling. I gave most of the first run away, happily, but I feel that I'd like to at least break even for one pressing. I'm sure a lot of artists can relate to the fact that I really don't want the issue of money to encroach upon my art, but it is a beautiful little dream of mine to think that perhaps one day, I will be free to only be working on it, and still be able to meet my needs. not to say that I don't enjoy the work that I do right now, but I would like to switch things around a little. full-time art, then work on some after-school programs to fulfill my desire to warp children's minds, I mean, give them something to enrich themselves.

I don't know if anyone reading this notices, but I tend to edit my pieces after they've already been posted. that is something that originally had me thinking that I should perhaps at least give myself a waiting period before publishing them here. I'll probably start going through the poems that I have already posted here, and critique them a bit; that's a mode that I'm in right now... edit edit edit. I invite you, dear reader, to help me out. any constructive, relevant criticism, or praise, is welcome. I might not apply it, as is my prerogative, but it helps to have external insight.

also, I will start posting my craft stuff here, since I do consider that art as well. since I will be taking down my craft blogs, I will start moving the posts over here, which should be interesting. I'm going to miss those blogs, if only for their names: "stranded in surreality," and "apocalypse crafting." they both have different meanings for me, and now will be relegated to tags for future posts here. I know that there are those that might disagree about the art/craft connection, but it's not like I ever present myself such that I expect complete agreement anyway. if you don't give a shit about those projects, it'll be easy enough to ignore those postings. yes, I will be doing some tagging of my own here.

well, that is all for now. have a happy day!

taking space

why did you need
to make so tangible
a reminder?
if I was left
with only a memory
to call upon at will
perhaps I wouldn't
feel so vandalized

I could make a statement
by undoing your handiwork
but that would be admitting
that I feel a bit sullied
that I was a bit taken
that you were able to stain me
even if in such a small small way

it wasn't personal
nor is it irreparable
it's just a reminder
of you being here
and a knowledge
that you probably won't be again

you're used to your self-given name
you can take it for granted
but it's new to me
and I still have to get used to it
I'm not taking it so seriously
but I still have to get used to it
and not deny it's meaning to me
but perhaps reinterpret it
in this newer context

it was so casual for you
and yes, for me too
but having you evaporate
as quickly as the ink dried
made the suddenness of your absence
bely what could've been at the least
rather innocuous

was I already a wall closing in on you?
if so, did you need to tag me?
I was here first.
your youth was an asset
when I was grabbing your ass
and you were rising to meet me
but now
it's an insult
a mark on my pride
rather easily covered
but still there
to remind me
how childish
children
with their crayons
can be